Sunday, December 7, 2008

I Can Be Such A Li'l Stinker

Seems like it's always those sporty-type cars that're riding my bumper like I'm a big booty gal shakin' what my momma gave me (Hay-ay!)... Well, a few days back I was driving down the road, minding my own business, when I had one of those right on my ass....


I was minding my own business, be-boppin' to the surely-to-be classic, 'I Kissed A Girl' (Man, that song never gets old, just as good the millionth time as the first!). I looked in the rear view mirror to see this car come speeding up right behind me. Something red, pretty asspensive, and very shiny. The driver, Miss Sweet Thang, was applying her make-up while talking on the phone.

Don't ask me what she was steering with, I'd be afraid to realize it was her penis...

What? She... (?) was a good lookin' chica!

So anyways, she's on my butt *snicker*, in the right lane, at the speed limit. I figure she's in a hurry to make the next exit ramp.

Nope. Not that one, at least.

She stays on my ass, close enough that I can't see her headlights, for two more exits.

I glance around at the sparsley occupied lanes to my left. I look around at my 10 yr+ old car, back at her shiny and new, clean car.

Hmm, her clean...

My windshield sure is dirty, must've been all that driving on those dirt roads...

*squirt, squirt*



I LOLed.

8 comments:

Snigglefrits said...

Heh. I've done that to cars behind me before. It's more fun when they're convertibles though. ;)

Xtine said...

Brake-checking those assholes is so much more fun, though.

Especially in a state like NC, where, no matter what, the person in the rear is deemed at fault. They know this, and panic.

Fire Fox said...

Funny! Thanks for the gigglesnort!

SpeakerTweaker said...

Sweet. Better than brake-checking, I think. Give that nice shiny a good un-shinying.

After all, you were just cleaning your windshield, right?



tweaker

Bob G. said...

Sarge:
You did what I usually do...and that scares me (but in a GOOD way). Keep that washer filled

I also like to "double pedal" - one foot to apply the brakes FIRMLY (to get the lights engaged and the car nose down), then rug it with the other foot, leaving THEM to "splain" to the person behind THEM why THEY stopped in the middle of the highway for NO good reason.
As I laugh into the sunset....

Carry On.

Steve said...

What makes it even better is when they have the top down, and you get your windshield EXTRA clean!!

Thanks for the story!
Steve

Old NFO said...

Even better from a 4x4- better range and coverage :-)

Murphy said...

Lovin' the ideas! Might not want to bang up my poor car anymore than she already is, though. If only I had some flash-bangs...