Something that happened a short while back in Murphyland...
*brrrring... brrrrring....*
Big City Emergency Services, what is your name?
Uh... Murphy. (I was expecting the 'PD, Fire, or EMS question'.)
Ok Sir, do you need Police, Fire, or EMS?
(bingo.)
Police, ma'am.
Allrighty Sir, and what do you need to report tonight?
Gun shots down the street at what looks like... the Peaceful Meadows Apartments Complex, ma'am.
Another interesting evening, indeed.
Every city has areas that are... well, not the best. Generally, I make it a personal rule to avoid said areas, but on occasion you just can't because, well, they come to you, wherever you happen to be. Before I get too much further, I should mention that no, I wasn't in any immediate danger (hence me taking time to call 911), but gun shots is something that I heard somewhere that law enforcement types might be kind of interested in hearing about.
Conversation went fairly quick after that, I told the lady that there had been gun shots in the apartment complex down the street - no, I wasn't involved, just in the vicinity, minding my own business and - nope, didn't actually see Sumdood fighting or running about, shooting or afterwards, running away. I suppose I coulda offered to help look around, but she probably would've strongly discouraged that and besides, I hear that Sumdood's an elusive and sneaky li'l bugger. She confirmed stuff like safety, names (mine, the roads, and apartment complex) and locations (of same), and promised that the local PD would be along shortly. Po-po, ho!
About 30 seconds after hanging up and re-examining the area, I got an incoming call.
'Iiif you think I'm sexy, aaand you want my-'
'Lo?
(I really should change that ring tone...)
Yeah, I'm calling in regards to the shots fired report. [male voice, PD radio and vehicle engine sounds in background]
Yessir?
Well, I'm en route to your location, and I want to know... where's the gun?
(I really didn't like the sound of this because the thought had occurred to me that technically, I was 'a man with a gun'. Hmm, how do I respond to the Officer... 'the one on my hip or the one that's been shoot-' no, that's like begging for additional rapid orifice creation, and I don't want any of that...)
No idea Sir, I'm just in the area, see and-
You sure it's not just you what been poppin' off a few rounds?
(What the Hell? Visions of some dispatcher fumble-fingering my name into the 'shooter' line instead of 'reporting party' whilst sucking down the last Dr Pepper flavored ice-cube (mmm, delicious) were definitely flying through my brain housing group right about then...)
Uhhh...
Listen buddy, I know you always got a gun, and I-
It was about at this point where he lost control of his 'cop voice' and started to chuckle.
J?
Yeah man *chortle* what's going on? I saw your name when the call dropped so I thought I'd give you a holler and see if'n you were ok and give you some shit... whassup, bro?
Dude... Ok, I admit it, you had me going there, but still, choke on a bacon-flavored donut, m'kay?
*laughter*
Cop buddies, sheesh.
*brrrring... brrrrring....*
Big City Emergency Services, what is your name?
Uh... Murphy. (I was expecting the 'PD, Fire, or EMS question'.)
Ok Sir, do you need Police, Fire, or EMS?
(bingo.)
Police, ma'am.
Allrighty Sir, and what do you need to report tonight?
Gun shots down the street at what looks like... the Peaceful Meadows Apartments Complex, ma'am.
Another interesting evening, indeed.
Every city has areas that are... well, not the best. Generally, I make it a personal rule to avoid said areas, but on occasion you just can't because, well, they come to you, wherever you happen to be. Before I get too much further, I should mention that no, I wasn't in any immediate danger (hence me taking time to call 911), but gun shots is something that I heard somewhere that law enforcement types might be kind of interested in hearing about.
Conversation went fairly quick after that, I told the lady that there had been gun shots in the apartment complex down the street - no, I wasn't involved, just in the vicinity, minding my own business and - nope, didn't actually see Sumdood fighting or running about, shooting or afterwards, running away. I suppose I coulda offered to help look around, but she probably would've strongly discouraged that and besides, I hear that Sumdood's an elusive and sneaky li'l bugger. She confirmed stuff like safety, names (mine, the roads, and apartment complex) and locations (of same), and promised that the local PD would be along shortly. Po-po, ho!
About 30 seconds after hanging up and re-examining the area, I got an incoming call.
'Iiif you think I'm sexy, aaand you want my-'
'Lo?
(I really should change that ring tone...)
Yeah, I'm calling in regards to the shots fired report. [male voice, PD radio and vehicle engine sounds in background]
Yessir?
Well, I'm en route to your location, and I want to know... where's the gun?
(I really didn't like the sound of this because the thought had occurred to me that technically, I was 'a man with a gun'. Hmm, how do I respond to the Officer... 'the one on my hip or the one that's been shoot-' no, that's like begging for additional rapid orifice creation, and I don't want any of that...)
No idea Sir, I'm just in the area, see and-
You sure it's not just you what been poppin' off a few rounds?
(What the Hell? Visions of some dispatcher fumble-fingering my name into the 'shooter' line instead of 'reporting party' whilst sucking down the last Dr Pepper flavored ice-cube (mmm, delicious) were definitely flying through my brain housing group right about then...)
Uhhh...
Listen buddy, I know you always got a gun, and I-
It was about at this point where he lost control of his 'cop voice' and started to chuckle.
J?
Yeah man *chortle* what's going on? I saw your name when the call dropped so I thought I'd give you a holler and see if'n you were ok and give you some shit... whassup, bro?
Dude... Ok, I admit it, you had me going there, but still, choke on a bacon-flavored donut, m'kay?
*laughter*
Cop buddies, sheesh.
5 comments:
Dad G. is a retired MA state cop.
NO ONE has a sicker sense of humor than a cop. NO ONE.
In fact, you just inspired a blog post.
Thanks!
W, my late husband, was also a cop. I second the above. I should post the story about the bb gun, the tv, W and the Marine!Goth and plausible deniability.
hehehe- THAT classifies as a gotcha! Good story! Post it Karla!
Sarge, if he's callin' you "Bro", and pulling THOSE stunts, I sure as hell hope he's not related by blood...LOL!
Carry On
B.G,.
(only child for JUST that reason)
Damn, I am more and more glad to live where I do. Out here in the sticks gunfire is a pretty common thing- of course crime isn't. ;)
By the way Murphy- there is something waiting on you at my place. And no, it's not a MeMe.
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