Friday, October 10, 2008

Do I Get Danger Pay For This?


Yup, going to a wedding.


Unfortunately, the above pic was nixed as a potential wedding gift. Thought it was kind of funny, myself...

My last opportunity of squirming out of going was likewise nixed by the doc's verdict today. Been feeling kind of 'bleh' the past few days, I was kind of pulling for strep, but alas, the ole crusher-of-hopes informed me that it was the end stages of the crud that's been going around pretty much everybody this time of year. He gave me some meds and the all clear for travel.


Awesome.

No, I'm not (completely) serious about the above. There are in fact a few things that a regular guy like myself can get into when it comes to weddings. As a single guy, it's an excellent place to take a date. Seeing extended family you haven't seen in awhile is always good, meeting new family is cool, too. Free food is great. Free drink is even better, when it comes to seeing folks that can't handle their alcohol... trying to handle their alcohol (there's always one).

Kind of got me thinking about some good advice I learned in my earlier days, re: weddings.



Whether or not there's an invite for my namesake, it's a good bet he's gonna show up at some point in the festivities.

'Country' can be an interesting theme for a wedding.

'Police response' is almost always not a good theme for a wedding.

If you're single, might want to think about taking a date. If you don't have a date and you're wearing the Blues, you'll find a date at the wedding. Hopefully, she's not married...

Leave no keg behind.

Just because your marching orders from the bride the evening before included not allowing the groom to get sloppy drunk didn't mean that you had a free pass. Now you have a hangover. Here's a straw, suck it up.

Good luck sentiments from strippers is ok; good luck sentiments from strippers written with permanent marker all over the groom's face and body is not.

When it comes time for the sword arch and the 'Welcome to the Corps' pat on the ass (for the bride- heck, for the groom too, if they're into that kind of thing...) might want to establish if the brides tail bone is fully healed from that car accident awhile back...



6 comments:

Bob G. said...

"Police response is almost always not a good theme for a wedding."...

ROFLMAO...I'm crying over here!!

I don't suppose the "foot" gig could have gotten you a pass on that...
Oh well...free drinks ARE always good.

Have one for me,'K?

Carry on
(just not too loudly)

threadbndr (karla) said...

LOL re the "swat". Funniest thing I ever saw was when the "swatter" got his sword hung up in the bride's train. For a minute, I thought we were going to have a dress disaster of major proportions (and yes, all puns intentional). Luckily, the bride stopped, the LT knew enough to NOT try to untangle himself and I had a sewing kit in the car. No lace was unrepairably harmed LOL

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the "dance of the getting-desperate-still- single-fugly women" event, towards the end of the wedding celebration!

Always good for the single gent's!

Sabra said...

I met my ex-husband at a wedding...He was wearing dress blues, in fact. (Not the same as yours, of course.)

Old NFO said...

Only thing worse than police response is police IN the wedding... talk about getting out of hand! And yes, the pat on the ass can get intersting when not expected (groom fogot).

The Loon said...

Please have fun and don`t forget to pack the kevlar......just in case!