Friday, September 7, 2007

Memorable One-Liners, Quips & Dumb Questions

...from the field...

Where's my rifle? (especially when this comes from one of your yahoos)

At least it's not raining! (from the over-enthusiastic Pfc. )

Do we have to take [insert heavy, unbalanced, item of gear here] on the hump? (the answer for this one is, of course, 'if we don't ask, the Captain can't tell us it's mandatory'.

Skunk in the perimeter!

How would you do this with a gas mask on? (from the over-enthusiastic Pfc.)

Guess what the First Sergeant caught one of your boys doing this time?

Secure the happiness.

Oh look, lightning.

If it ain't raining, you ain't really training.

Anybody see that cat...? (a.m., everybody waking up)

Fire Mission!!! Hippies in the open, on foot!!

The Captain found out about [insert practical joke, wildly inappropriate joke, stuff that might or might not get one arrested in the civilian world...if I did have any knowledge of said action (I don't remember nuthin')].

When the Ssgt. says "PT with the 81mm mortars this morning, boys".

81mms out of action? We'll still take them for the hump. And PT. (Same SSgt.)

Corpsman down! Corpsman up? A Corpsman up for the Corpsman down! Hell, Doc just busted his ass trying to jump offna truck!

Any 'Good news / Bad news' intel dump that involves saving a lot of money with GEICO.

Are you sure this isn't an impact range? (pointing to mortar fins sticking up out of the deck)

Training is secured for the moment due to a sighting of the rare South American 4-toed pygmy albino two-headed tortoise in the training area.

Big Green Weenie strikes again...

I didn't know a Hummer could do that!

I should have known a Hummer couldn't do that!

I need a battery for a prick E-6. (joke played on FNGs, PRC E-6 doesn't mean a radio, like the Pfc thinks, but an asshole Staff Sergeant. It gets exponentially more hilarious when the Pfc. queries the platoon's SSgt.)

Oooh, that's gotta suck. (Doc, looking at your feet/ankles/whatever)

This field training operation has been extended.

"Rain drops a-fallin' on my head..."

Anybody got an extra firing pin?

But Corporal, you said to watch the radio, not to respond to calls from range control!

Q. Who's the friggin' fire watch here tonight? A. *snores*

See that hill way over there? There's a clue there. Catch it. NOW!!!!

Sleep is a myth.

Chow is continuous. (This means we are going to be too busy to eat, today. Again.)

No doc, you cannot be the lead man for the rappel/entry team/recon element/riot snatch team.

Doc, what the hell are you doing as the lead man for the rappel/entry team/recon element/riot snatch team?

Somebody wake up the doc. Do it with a pointy stick. (different doc)

Semper Gumby.


Murphy said...

*crickets chirping*

tough crowd...

Dan O. said...

Not a tough crowd, Murphy. Just some of us are behind on their feed reads!

Love the PRC E-6. Gotta love abusing the acronyms in the military.

Screwing around with the FNG's was fun, once you got past being the FNG.

On the boat we enjoyed sending guys to Supply with their req for "gig line" or batteries for the "sound-powered" phones. The Supply guys would even play along sometimes so we could drag it out even longer. This worked, and was infinitely more funny, with the Midshipmen we got from the academy every year to train onboard ship.