Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Christmas, Shmistmas

That's right, I said it!

Snot even Thanksgiving yet, and I'm already getting this stuff in my inbox. Might as well have some fun with it...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Coal dust.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree.

3. When do you put up the tree?
As late as possible, after much hints, suggestions, requests, nagging, demands, and threats.

4. When do you take the tree down?
See above.

5. Do you like eggnog?
I love it mixed with whiskey, hold the eggnog. Make it a double.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
World Peace.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Baby Cheeses?

8. Easiest person to buy for? Moi. All I want for Christmas is Salma Hayek.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
We gotta do that nowadays?

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
AK-47 bullets.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Scrooged, Bad Santa, and... uh, Mrs. Claus and the North Pole.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Eh, for this year or last?

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Ah, there is such thing as a stupid question!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas
? See answer to question # 5. Bring me two.

16. Lights on the tree?
Lights? Dang, next thing I know, you'll want something shiny on top...

17. Favorite Christmas song?
The indisputable classic, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home?
Travel to the fridge, couch, and bed. Repeat as necessary.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?
Let's see, there's Jerky, Medium-Rare, Venison, Fajita Fixins, Tenderloin (?)... aw shucks, guess not.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
My extended family has toddlers and small cats & dogs. We're lucky if we can piece together the remnants.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Crowds and bills... and realizing you don't have enough ammo to deal with both.

23. What theme or color are you using?
Bah Humbug Blood-Red.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner- See answer #5 Get the good stuff!

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
See answer #5. Just leave me the bottle.


Karla (ThreadBndr) said...

you scrooge you LOL. (though I have to agree with #5. Single malt, no 'egg necessary.)

Xtine said...

You know, for 'favorite thing to eat at christmas', I was expecting #5 to be the one referencing Salma Hayek

My verification word is ovenz :-D
Tasty, tasty Hayek loins.

Have I gone too far?

Crucis said...

I thought you'd list Selma Hyack for #25!!

Bob G. said...


#5...make mine bourbon.
#8...mmmmmm (and ditto)
#22...but there are always SALES on ammo...


Snigglefrits said...

Murphy, Murphy, Murphy.


Old NFO said...

That is #$&*(ing Hilarious! Great post...

Slick said...

LOL...yup, you're easy to buy for.

A #5 man!

I'm with you on the crowds thing. Ugh...

Anonymous said...

Bet anything that you've already got everything for Christmas except for the...................being a Marine, bet you have everything.

Thank You for the laughs.

Patrick said...

As for #17 - ever heard Grandpa got run over by a beer truck?

Link - Youtube

Murphy said...

Salma... Mmmmm....

I've got my shopping money, and had it for awhile. Gifts on the other hand....

Never heard the grandpa song, but it definitely sounds interesting!