Thursday, May 15, 2008

Movies, Massholes, and Memories


I saw this great new movie the other day called The Departed. Great cast, good writing, y'all really need to get out and see this new flick -



I really need to get out more...

A few thoughts on the movie. I really should get this DVD, rather than trying to fight my way through the scratched-all-to-hell Netflix's copy. As you might have gathered, I don't really get out all that much nowadays (I think my last flick was 300, really need to get that one..), but this one made me chuckle - and not just 'cause of the accents... we'll just say the ending was pretty cool, m'kay?

Granted, I chortled every time I heard one character call another a cahksuckah, but what I was really doing was remembering the Massholes.

The Massholes were a small group of Marines that I met quite a few years ago. They were always together, getting into trouble and giving grief to just about... everybody. The first time that they ran into my platoon (with a good number of Texan boys), the conversation went something like this...

Masshole 1 - Hey, Jonsie, we got anothah Texan, heah!

Awesome. Steahs n' Queahs, huh? - Masshole 2 (Jonsie)

Masshole 1 - Wicked Awesome.

*record scratches*

I think the natives are restless, heah. - Jonsie

Mashole 1 - Hey, Murf, what's with all da long faces?

Me - (Affecting a serious drawl) Son, y'alls fixing to git yer ass whupped.

Then is was the Massholes' turn to give the looks.

Fortunately, there was no blood spilled (that time) due to cross cultural differences. Heck, we even managed to learn a little bit about each other, even. For example, we learned that baseball was almost like a religion to 'em, and as far as their team went, any and all disparaging comments, bitches, gripes, and complaints were best left to those who counted themselves among the faithful fans.

From us, they learned that football was religion to Texans, we were devout from Thursdays to Sundays, and when it came time for the rivalry game - best for all if they just stayed out of it.

Perhaps the best proof of cultural acceptance was one of them trying Copenhagen (short experiment as that one was), and some of us (on occasion) taking on a bit of the Bahston accent. I remember the first time that one of them tried to say, "fuck y'all." It took awhile, but they got it, eventually. Of course, too, the fact that many years later I chuckle over just hearing someone say the word, cahksuckah is a pretty good sign, too.

Here's to the Massholes (raising my 'beah'), y'all are some wonderful bahstids.


Jay G said...

Even if we are... Stuck in Massachusetts...

(And an acceptable variant is "Wicked Pissah", FYI...)

Snigglefrits said...

I dated a guy from Boston once. Took me 10 minutes to figure out where he had gone when he said he was going to "Pah the cah".

Rule #1 then became: If they don't say yonder and y'all, just don't date 'em. ;)

Old NFO said...

Did you ever try to understand one of them on the radio???? Sounded like someone gargling marbles... :-)

Snigglefrits said...

Gargling marbles.

I LOVE THAT! I swear Murphy, you and NFO entertain me so well.


Fire Fox said...

Masshole 101:
showa = shower
beeya = beer
heeya = here
ayup = yes

there is no "R" in Massachusetts
unless the word ends in the letter "A".
ex. Brenda is pronounced Brender
(shrugs shoulders)
don't ask me, I just live here.
Great story Murph!

Murphy said...

jay g: 'wicked pissah'... *cackle*

snigs: Y'all should have gotten a translator.

old nfo: Ha! It's a good thing Texans don't have that accent to interfere...

fire fox: Thanks, but you forgot to put the f-word before, amid, and behind the words!