Wednesday, January 30, 2008


During pre-deployment work-ups, Marine units will go through and get certified on quite a few number of different aspects of their jobs and depending on what the mission of the deployment is. One thing that is a constant is the hurry up and wait, and the ungodly pace of training that results from the higher ups realizing that we have 3 more months of crap to complete in a 1 month time frame before we actually get the hell outta town.


One evening, after a particularly grueling hump (again, is there any other kind, really?) I was running around trying double-checking my numbers. It didn't help that I had some really strong Marines in my gun team, and we managed to get distributed all over the friggin Battalion while keeping everybody moving throughout the course of the hump. I finally got positive contact with all but one guy who had rolled his ankle about 4 miles into the hike, and he was safely riding in the med hummer.


Round about then was when we got word that the doc for one of the rifle platoons had done a fairly accurate impression of a human lawn dart from the heat and the strain. That's not generally considered a good thing. While docs aren't carrying the full packs, rifles, crew served weapons components, ammo, and the like, they do tote their med packs, and those things aren't filled with pillows, cotton candy, and sweet dreams for nighttimes. Who was gonna take care of tender tootsies if the doc was out for the count?

A couple of other platoons' docs and a few Marines went over to the downed Corpsman. He wasn't fully out, but he was kinda loopy, so off to the med truck he went, probably to get the infamous silver bullet. As he was... somewhat of a 'sweet' guy, the peanut gallery started up.

"Hey, does that count as a conjugal visit?"
"Doc Low (not the passed out one), make sure you wisper sweet nothings, first!"
"Be gentle!"

As we had just finished a long hump, the peanut gallery was not up to its usual riotous self. Blood blisters on feet, aching shoulders, sore backs, pulled muscles, dehydration, and the evening was just beginning. We still had a late night planned for some urban terrain-type training. In about 5 minutes, most Marines could be found sitting on the ground and up against their packs, with their feet propped up for the foot check. As the docs were busy with one of their own, the duty fell to the NCOs. Ah, joys of leadership. After identifying a couple of other Marines that needed some TLC from the docs, we resumed training for the evening.

After the completion of training, we were all beat. A long day, and then night of training had combined to drain just about everybody. To make it better, we knew that we only had about a month and a half of this pace of training, maybe an afternoon or two off for liberty in that whole time, and then it was out of the country we go. The order was given to bed down for the night, and the Marines returned to their packs, unrolled their sleeping bags, and started to get ready to bed down.

I was going around, setting up a night watch, and checking on the Marines that had gotten hurt either in the hump or from falling off of a building while trying to rappel. I noticed that the guys were pretty quiet, probably exhausted from the long series of days. All of a sudden, off from the world of third platoon, there came a high pitched yell. Someone came running through the darkness, weaving in and out of the platoons, and screaming like a banshee. It was the platoon joker from one of the other companies, and he was making a run to lift the spirits of the tired Marines.

How did he do this? He got butt-nekkid, put back on his combat boots and kevlar helmet, re-applied cammie paint, cracked a few chem lights, and started his run. Ever seen a mostly naked dude with a chem light in his ass running around at 4 in the morning and screaming "I'm a sexy mutha fuckah!!!" when dead tired?

Not exaclty a recipie for good dreams, but it will give you a chuckle.


Old NFO said...

LOL- reminds me of the flight engineer that was so tired he forgot to put on a flight suit for an 0300 ready launch- Showed up in long johns, boots and helmet... Bad part- nobody noticed for about three hours :-0

Old NFO said...

LOL- reminds me of the flight engineer that was so tired he forgot to put on a flight suit for an 0300 ready launch- Showed up in long johns, boots and helmet... Bad part- nobody noticed for about three hours :-0

SpeakerTweaker said...

Thanks (I think) for the visual. Good laugh, though.


Karla (threadbndr) said...

EWWWWW!!!! They won't put THAT one on a recruiting commercial.


Snigglefrits said...

I didn't see it and it gave me a chuckle. Did anyone start singing You Light Up My Life? :-D

techie said...

That must have been one interesting sight. It's a good thing he didn't fall and end up a victim err... guest of the Med Hummer.

Murphy said...

Come to think of it, there's quite a bit o' the nekkidness in the Corps, from the training incident in my post, to crowded shower and berthing time on ship, to the unfortunate occasions when we'd take fire while in the newly installed shower tent. THAT was fun...

drc said...

This is why I read your blog. Now I know what my son REALLY does in the Marine Corps.