Thursday, July 19, 2007

Comedy in the Classroom

Classes in the Marines usually follows somewhat of a similar format. Wherever the 'classroom' might be, whether in a barracks, on the range, or on a parade deck, the instructor will get in front of the class, introduce himself, and give the class the subject for his period of instruction. Occasionally, if time permits, the instructor will tell a joke. Like most jokes, some are new, some old, some good, and some bad. Most are very much not PC. One of the better classes that I had was on Rules of Engagement from some legal Officer, not for the class itself (all though it was pretty informative), but for the opening comments.

As we were about 3 hours away from a weekend liberty pass, the Major knew that he was going to have to make things interesting for the class. He started off by asking what were some of the plans for the Marines in the platoon. After getting a few of the standard, if somewhat reserved, responses (he was a Major after all, we didn't care to harmfully affect his delicate sensibilities), he inquired if anyone was planning to get ticket for 'the show'. When we asked what show was coming to town that we hadn't heard about, he responded with;


He then struck a pose that would have made Hulk Hogan proud.

I'm not usually one to critique another man's physique, but he was not particularly suited for extended poses showing off his dubious musculature. All the more funny, as far as we were concerned. He then proceeded with the class. Shuffling through his notes while covering the definition and explanations of lethal force, he muttered a low curse and started sucking on the tip of his index finger. He asked the Corpsman if he had a band aid, 'cause;

"I'M CUT, BABY!!!"

He struck another pose, to the groans of the collected Marines. He continued his class with various examples of possible situations that we could possibly encounter while on ship and on liberty in another country. He also made several references to the following; beefcake, hunka hunka burnin love, butt-floss bikinis, and the size of his...brain. Quite memorable, to say the least.

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