Word, as in The

Bwahaha.

Verily, for I say unto thee, go here and read.

Amen, n' stuff.



ETA: Ruh-Roh, for those with no FB account, try here.

Powndouchery

One of the greatest gifts the Corps has given me is the ability to determine the potential FAIL of others rather than learning by my own failage. Granted, this is a rather easy example, doesn't take much to figure out which way this one is going to go, but it did make me chuckle.

Helpful suggestions for teh internets:

1. Get off of 'em every once in a while.
2. Don't piss n' moan about the Significant Other...
3. ... especially if she works 50 hours a week, takes a full load of classes, and is your baby momma.
4. If you do decide to piss n' moan about the SO, understand that it might come back to bite you in the ass.
5. Leaving your account logged in is an open invite to getting bit in the aforementioned ass, you ass.
6. Learn to quit while your not too far behind.

Sure there are more suggestions, but I've not finished reading the over 100 pages of peanut gallery color commentary.

LULZ

ETA: read Page 1 for the the set up, then Page 2 for her response. After that, it appears to all be icing on the cake, especially when the douchnozzle keeps responding...

Been thinking about political asshattery in general, and a few politicians in specific. I try not to dwell on things too much, 'cause, well, there's only just so much bs that I find I can stand, nowadays. I thought it was interesting when my chain of thought took a different track, of sorts.


It started with Georgia's finest, opining on the possibility of military folks decidin' to up and go Guam tippin'...


Bounced around a bit, and then landed on another 'Call me Senator' who apparently got their panties in a bunch in re: the grievous insult of being called, "Ma'am". (Loved how she didn't address him as General during that little exchange, that was the topping on the cake!)


After some twists and turns, my little train wound up on sections of just about every General Petraeus clip that I've heard...


What's the connection, you ask? Political asshattery? Well, yes, but more so than that, was, the bearing of the Admirals and Generals when they have to deal with politicians.

Now, I've done my fair share of pissin' and moanin' about the really-really higher ups, but for the most part, it was more about them than directly because of them. Gettin' to formations 5 hours prior, hand scrubbing an already friggin' immaculate floor in a back room of the out-of-the-way berthing area on ship because the Division's CG is visiting in the same port as us, running fake personal security details / low-tech mine sweeping ops in Iraq, that sort of thing.

I've had to directly, face to face deal with stupid (much lower ranking) Officer questions, but truth be told, they were long and few in between, and for the most part, I'd give 'em credit; they didn't know something, so instead of pretending to be totally on the ball they put it out there and asked someone who did know what was going on. Good on 'em, sorta.

But what struck my mind when thinking about these incidents, and what I'm probably going to keep a look out for in the future is, their bearing. In all of the above mentioned scenes, there was no scoffing, snorting, wtf-ing, laughing, mouth-dropping, or hell, any kind of reaction other than the 100% professional response.

Is there some sort of Command-Staff College Poker class for advanced players going on out there? Holy Hey Zeus, can you imagine if the military got tired of the BS and just informed everyone that any and all future hearings would be responded by Gunny Ermey? Now there's a show I'd like to watch...!

It's Been That Kind Of Day

source.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, bumper sticker, and new set of cammies, afterward. Didn't find it humerous at the time, if I recall, but it sure puts a smile on my face, nowadays...

Pop Quiz

When, at the range, your pistol mounted gun-light decides to abandon ship upon nearly every shot, it is properly classified as a:

a) weapon or gear malfunction

b) operator error

c) Bush's fault

d) a theoretical enemy diversional tactic

e) karma for pretending your previous shit-hot shooting was anything but pure luck.

Semper Fi...

... now with extra Moto!

I recently read about this salty senior Lance Corporal in a recent Marine Corps Times, if I recall correctly. Interestingly enough, he has a website. Read the 'toons and the articles beneath, from crazy libo attire, nicknames, the big green weenie, and p.o.ed SNCO-HMFICs, he's done a bit of the same stuff that I've written about, just funnier. Good thing he's getting out, doesn't take a genius to figure out that someone, somewhere, eventually would get all butt-hurt about one of the strips sooner or later. Hopefully, he keeps up with his page now that he's rejoining the really-real world.

No comment from my peanut gallery, m'kay?

Also, a slight word of caution, it is a strip about Marines, so there are going to be the occasional creative variations on the f-word, references to lower-orifice recreational activities, and the like.

Also also speaking of the like, if one should find themselves on Facebook, one should look up a page for F'N Boot!. Marines of a certain type of humor, likely grunts, are probably going to wax nostalgic whilst trying mightily not to spew coffee (or pee) all over the place. And that's just for the wall comments. Venture on to check out the pictures (and related comments) for that page at your own risk. I did mention that Marine grunts would like it, right? Let me put it this way, I'm reluctant to even link from here, if that's telling you anything. Some pictures (but mostly comments) are definitely not suitable for polite, mixed, adult, civi, or any other type of company.

Ever.

Hell, I'm offended by some of 'em.

They tend to go off on anyone who's ever been; a boot Marine, female, reservist, infantry, non-infantry, Officer, on camera sober, on camera drunk, in blues & alphas, on downtime in the States or deployed, tattooed, - basically, anyone who isn't a unanimously acknowledged bad-ass of Marine Corps combat history. Mostly hilarious, in other words.

'Special Attention' is bestowed to those who are photographed while wearing uniforms and awards not legitimately earned.

Should you happen to check out the pics, my personal favorite at the moment (and coincidentally enough my current desktop image at the house), is this one.

Yeah, it's that kind of page.

Pshaw, Whippersnappers

Not too terribly long ago, I was over at a track, killin' time trying to get a feel for how my shins were. I was wandering around looking for a semi dry spot to stretch when I saw something that caught my eye.

A pair of ratty old USMC issued PT sweatpants.

I sidled up to the owner of said sweatpants and asked the ever popular gettin' to know you question, "So, who're'you with?"

He told me his old unit, and it just so happened that it was the same bunch that my unit relieved over in Iraq.

"Great outfit, says I", deciding that my shins were merely tender (and thankfully not worse), "good group of guys. We actually relieved y'all at Camp Cupcake in '04..." I prattled off, reliving some fond memories.

He let me continue for a while, doing his own stretches, before he interrupted with a grunt and a "Sheeit dude, I wasn't there way back in 2004, I was in boot camp then."



"Way back", sheesh.

It Walks, It Talks...

Well, not really, but y'all already knew that.

See, what had happened was that families, doing what they do, tend to expand with the additions of new little ones. A particular little one, curious and with a mischievous monkey-like climbing abilities, managed to apparently to defeat the eagle eye of his mommy, hump up a set of stairs, and either did a max set of pull-ups on the fancy bed blanket thing or directly onto the bedside hooya where I kept my laptop.

Yup, "kept".

Seems to me that HP make a pretty good laptop, as it was fairly old, and considering who used it (moi), you can bet it was pretty much the definition of used hard and put up wet.

It was not, apparently, drop proof.

I thought it was a cute touch, however, when My Love had placed the laptop back on my bedside thingy (table? dresser?), with the power cable's new jaunty 45 degree angle connection to the laptop, and all but completely recessed into the body of the laptop.

Yeah, it was kaput. Would've cost more to fix it than it was worth, all my pics were duped onto the pc and on disc... so, yeah, it's sitting up on my closet shelf, perhaps waiting for a final use at the range, one of these days...

You might be pleased to know that while I declined to mete out any punishment due to the young age of the offender (under 3), not even researching local and country-wide orphanages, I have started a runing countdown, all for the momma's sake, of course, of when that little booger turns of legal age to be sent away to Marine boot camp.

Internet access has been apparently noticeably sporadic since, but hopefully, not too much longer.

In Response to Already Observed Overly-Enthusiastic Holiday Spirit...

Bah Humbug.

Marvel

For your viewing pleasure... click and marvel at the dainty tinkle of this zoomie's sterling silver set o' balls!

linkypoo.

n.b. Grunts may want to put down any and all beverages before watching the video. Seriously, I think I damn near literally busted my gut.

Random Internetosity

"President Obama for the Heisman" (amongst other awards).




I LOLed.

A good man is in need of good thoughts and prayers.

Whoda thunkit?

Holy moly, did y'all hear about this?


Kayne West Told to Leave VMAs After Upsetting Taylor Swift.


Now, to be fair, all I really know of these two is 1) She's purdy and 2) She's how young? 3) Hasn't this schmuck done stuff like this before?


Not really sure I could name any songs either have done. Might be able to get kinda close with one or two, and I'm reasonably sure I could point out a song or three if I heard 'em, but that's not what gets me about this story.


What really sticks out to me after hearing about his outburst at her award reception is,



MTV is playing music videos? When did this happen?

WTF, Over.

When I was in Iraq we had, on occasion, the odd journalist or two posted at our FOB. Officially, we were to extend every courtesy, if asked. We were instructed to provide non-sensitive information if questioned and, for even a suggestion of uncertainty, to professionally and politely refer them to our chain of command, blah, blah, blah.


Unofficially, the word got out that they were to be regarded in the highest of suspicion.


We went with the unofficial word.


This is a pretty good representation of why.


ETA:

Sweetness.

Condolences go out, of course, to the families of the translator and the soldier.

Feliz cumpleaños, Salma!

1) Nod to Bobby G for the pic, and it's a nice one!

2) You better believe I knew what day it was!

3) *sigh*

I Shouldda Stayed In...

Hmmm,


Looking at the picture above, what is your first thought?

1) Oh, cool. You can see the mortar round just leaving the tube!

2) (sucking at teeth in a decidedly Senior Staff NCO fashion) where in the &#*@ is their $@&-$^%%!@ kevlar helmets!?




Yeah, me too.

For that and many more cool military pics, go over heah.

For Those Guys In The Baby Namin' Window

I found out back in the day that baby namin' was a bit like weddings. Once the conversations were out in the open, I realized that My Love had already been planning things for quite some time, I just never knew about it. Also like wedding plans, my input was not exactly needed, followed, or generally appreciated, but I still had to give it. Books and books (and yet more books) of baby names and their various meanings started appearing all over the place. There were still a few lessons to be learned, though.



If there is a particular name passed down from generation to generation, hopefully, this is something that's already been covered with your significant other. Thankfully, we'd already covered this, and there was little debate about what any first-born male child would be named.

She reminded me of the history of twins in her family, and that it might be a good idea to have other boy names ready, in case and for eventually. Good point.

Proposing 'Sue' as an alternate boy's name was kind of funny because I didn't consider myself a country music fan, and I remembered the reference. She's much more the fan of the genre, and didn't.

Superhero names were out, not even up for consideration (she was a party pooper, that way).

When hounded by My Love as to what girl names I really liked, 'Candi', 'Bubbles', and 'Honey' weren't terribly popular suggestions. In my defense, we'd been talking baby names for a long time by then ('bout 10 minutes or so), and my brain was gettin' tuckered out at the time. Shoulda just quit while I was ahead, because 'real' girl names of Salma and Rosalyn got equally chilly responses... go figure.

Random Fun

Hey, Dancing around with some catch me - do me's on and at risk of nipple chafe isn't as easy as it looks... so I've heard.

Always Faithful

Read.

More on Parties

So speaking of parties, I think the best part about house parties is the fact that you can show off your stuff. New grills, shotguns, cars, boats - heck, sometimes the house itself is the new item to show off / check out.

All of that, of course, has nothing on showin' off the babes at the party.

*wink*

Now, there's a progression of the quality of stuff that gets shown off, when movin' on through the years. A few years back, the 'new' stuff was just new to the owner, and usually showed up at the apartment at random intervals usually around when folks would drag stuff out to the corner or out to the dump. Some creative application of school money and / or food cash might lead to a relatively high-quality television entertainment center. Some years later, more & consistent pay and a bit of discipline in spending will inevitably lead to better and better stuff.

At about the time when the majority of my friends were getting married, a few things inevitably happened. They ran out of cash and didn't go to any more parties? No, silly, just the parties themselves changed a bit. When most of the guys have their significant others with them we tend to be a bit better behaved (shocker). The food got a bit better too, come to think of it. More folks kept most of their clothes on (usually), and the get togethers became more about, well, gettin' together and hanging out than what they were in the past.

Inevitably, some couple will announce that they're expecting. Soon after, big ole bellies become on the of the things gettin' showed off at parties. This, of course, leads to the babes mentioned earlier.

There's a few funny things, 'bout baby-attended parties.

First of all, when a baby's gotta eat, they eat, and momma's gonna feed 'em. Most of the ladies got their Hooter Hiders (no kiddin', that's what they call 'em), but I've learned that the covers aren't strictly needed to feed the kiddos, apparently. Now, I'm a fan of the boobies as much as the next guy (mebbe more), and I understand what they're alleged main purpose is really for, and while I'll admit to seeing some level of boobage at parties before, seeing a partially topless good friend can give one pause. Lot's of the guys adopted a practice of entering the house via the laundry room, making a bit more noise when entering a living or dining room, or plain announcing their entrance in a room with one or more feeding babies. Generally, whenever we could we'd just hang out in the garage or out on the driveway / porch with the grill, swappin' stories and/or lies with the rest of the guys.

This is where another thing started to happen, with a disturbing regularity.

More often than not, the new dad(s) would be tellin' horror stories about the delivery, and all the other guys would be listening like so many Pfc's gathered around their grizzled old Sergeant.


"So there we were, the doc in it about to his elbows, when he reaches back and grabs the biggest pair of scissors you ever seen..."

"Hey, Zeus", just about in unison from the rest of the guys.

'Bout this time one or two of the ladies would just happen to wander outside in search of their significant others, and ask them inside. The gathered guys would immediately tend to the grill, their beers, or whatever they could, in somewhat of a 'maybe if I don't see her, my neck will be spared' kind of thought. When the condem-er, said named guy has been called out, there'd be some claps of the back, and well wishes from the spared guys, and a few relieved sighs from those not picked.

What happens when you get called in is something of a practical application test for prospective dads, in a room full of ladies. Sweetness, huh.

First of all, there's holding a baby.

Now, I suppose it's a good idea to practice this sort of thing, but my life experiences weren't exactly geared to holding and caring for small children. Mebbe if they needed some disassembly, oiling, loading and whatnot, but basically a small wriggling infant would be thrust in my arms and a room full of ladies would start giving me / barking advice, all at once. 'Support the head', 'tuck the blanket', and possibly 'raise the bottle' would start flying around the room, all accompanied by the critical gaze of My Love, and the even more critical gaze of the new momma.

Actually reminded me of going in front of a board, somewhat...

The best part of baby-attended parties was the number of baby-oriented conversations that we'd have in the weeks following. My Love was strongly in favor of starting a family immediately after each baby-party, hearing of a co-worker having a baby, seeing a baby on the television, or even hearing one cry out somewhere in the neighborhood. She had the fever, in other words. Me, I was of the opinion that things were going much too well for her to get preggers. Money was coming in pretty good, we were still paying off the credit cards at the time, purchase of the house was then not too far away, we had a little left in the bank at the end of each month, etc. I figgured that I'd lose my job immediately after paying the down payment for the house and right before totaling the car, and then we'd find out that she was pregnant. With twins. Regardless of my thoughts, I was always the thoughtful husband and allowed how we might need to practice the sort of actions that brought about the babies in the first place. Purely selflessly, of course.