Sunday, March 9, 2008

Uniformity, Down Time on Ship, and Shorty Shorts

We got the word during our work up that all hands needed to go run down and buy a couple of pairs of those UDT shorts, made popular by Navy SEALs... and Lt. Dangle. One thing that might not be known is that those things tend to be kinda short, and tend to run kind of on the small side. Made for some interesting pt formations, that's for sure.

They were almost instantly christened, 'catch me / fuck me's'.

I know, I know, but that's what we called 'em.

It started out as part of the pt uniform, probably because the non-slip surface of the boat's 'flight deck' would tear our regular pt shorts, aka 'silkies' to shreds during our regular pt sessions. This way, the surface would only tear us to shreds. Awesome.

One we got closer to the equator, and (naturally) the ship's ac died, the pt uni (green skivvy shirt and catch me/fuck me's) became the uniform of the day. The navy boys weren't to keen on this, probably cause the poor bastards still had to go to work in the engine room in their coveralls. And we were pretty damn sexy, if I do say so myself.

Suckers.

It was only a couple of days later that we were told that it was deemed unhygienic for us to be in the chow hall in our pt gear, what with everybody sweating buckets. The word was that we could continue to wear the catch me/fuck me's, but we would have to put on the cammie blouse to go to chow.

Yay.

The thing is, those cammie blouses are designed to have a little bit of extra fabric than your regular civilian shirt, so when the guys would throw on the blouse to go to chow, it looked like a platoon fulla guys wearing cammie tops, boots, and... not much else. Screw that, I would toss on the trousers as well. I figured I was sweating like a pig anyways, the trousers weren't gonna kill me. "No one ever drowned in their own sweat", right? Until me, anyways...

Oh yeah, another thing about the shorts,

The 'flight deck' on the boat was only nominally for flight ops. I think it could muster the space for a (one) helicopter... barely. It was also where we would keep some of the vehicles, because there wasn't enough space down in the well deck. It was up around and in those vehicles that I would go to hang out and watch the waters, do some crossword puzzles, or just enjoy the sweet, sweet smell of non man-stanked air.

One day I was hanging out at the vehicles, trying to think of something like a 17 letter word for 'feline', and it wasn't looking good. It appeared that the 3rd through 9th letters were all 'm'.

I didn't say that I was particularly good at crosswords, but I do like to do them.

One of the other Corporals came up to where I had put my stool in the shade of the hummer. Placing one of his boots on the doorless frame of the vehicle, he inquired as to what I was doing. I looked at the front of my book, right were it said 'Crossword Puzzles', sighed, and responded, "Solving world hunger. How about yourself?" That's when I made the mistake of looking up at him.

See, the UDT shorts that we were all wearing were, as mentioned, really, really short. Pretty much provided a direct line-of-sight to the free balln' Corporal's giggle berries. Not a pretty sight.

8 comments:

Mike the Marine said...

Oh now, that was just uncalled for...

Not just his wearing, but your telling. I have a mental image that shall haunt me the rest of my days...

Hammer said...

Dangle lol. Bad mental image need mind bleach..

Ky Woman said...

Mental image? OMG! I'm snorting margaritas out my nose over here... Damn! I just cleaned this stupid flat panel too!

Mike said...

"Uh, Corporal, do you know your brains are showing?"

I'm actually more disturbed by the image of a bunch of bottomless marines hanging about. It's like the world's most disturbing, and dangerous, slumber party.

Murphy said...

Aw 'nuts', in the grand scheme of things, this one's kinda tame...


sorry, couldn't help it


... in related news, think I just figgered out what caused my post-Corps nightmares...

Anonymous said...

Meat Gazer.

Murphy said...

Ha!

Anonymous said...

So lean over and slurp...